daddy o

what i have always felt i could do is play some instrument. now i am not sure that it will be the guitar or the drums or the sax or the tabla. but i do know that i will be able to make music, all of which is there in my head and has alwys been there. so what do i do?

i get the daddy o. thats the distortion set from danelectro and it really kicks ass. other than really amping the whole guitar arrangement, it also makes the sound very twangy and with more punch, if nothing else. i think as i get to explore it, i will get a lot of different sounds on it. and then, the sixthartist sent me a pretty cool poster with chords on it( how some simple things can get u excited, rite?!), and i think that will help too. its a pain to search in a book.

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i also made a coupla changes to the blog. i think i wanted a place to put some fotos on aregular basis so thus the daily feed. i dont think i will be able to feed it daily, but i am getting there.

its interesting how a lot of things so important in life just need to be swept under but its also interesting how they sometimes come up suddenly, rite in front of you.

jam sandwiches

this is anand's view of things we did on friday nite. it was a good nite. i will put up some fotos online in some time. i am still getting used to the whole thing. the phone camera, the webcam, things like that. its not a bad deal if you are running a blog.

I ate the last jam sandwich. since we couldnt find any other homeless person after the last one. (this statement manadates reading anand's blog first)

the chaps at vineyard are really good. but i dont know what they are trying to do. releive hunger, or make us aware of how much hunger there is? if its the latter, then its fine, because jam sandwiches every friday nite dont do much to fill stomachs. but people being aware of them do go a long way.

to the exit of somebody i love.

the throne of blood

moving upon the tv
are images i have seen
long time back on a stage
the act was played while i watched from a cage

hello who is that i see
moving in the fog on the tv
looking up and searhcing for the castle
which stood there long ago

the throne of blood demands its sacrifice
the spider wants to snare you into its tricks
move away and go away
for the spider is looking for you

take a deep breathe and look at the evil spirit
lurking in your heart
black eyes arent looking at me again
and i am hoping to be washed away

moving back and forth in life
looking back at people i had left behind
and finding them again
to lose them again(yes, you)

one more go on the ride
round and round and round
going nowwhere but having fun
whatever

of missed chances and lost time

so you started reading this stuff just now.
there isint much time left.
my mind is moving away into its own little world.
the light in the eyes is going, going far away.

look around.
you'll see what wrongs you are doing
letting yourself fall inside what you were out of.
there were moments of inspiration at times
but the match always gave out.
am i complaining?
maybe so, but tell me
is the past under my control.
anymore?

the past is always under our control isint it?
always. its just that we make it the past. and sometimes, the future catches up.

i rote some stuff somedays back. i started riting in a state of mind i have almost never had. it was interesting, to say the least. it wasnt pleasant, but it was interesting. here's some from that.

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pizza smells while you try to sleep. the opening of an electric opera on the speaker. violent drums. hendrix on the guitar. very indian drums, in a way. till the opens up the guitar and the rhythmn.

sunday evenings. a bottle of coke. not a pinch. just a bottle. yet.
post wody allen movie and a quasi erotic movie, there's nothing else to do. so i start riting. some people say the best novels get made like this. i dont think so. so test. bluepinkbluepink skies. with patches of light. biscuit billboard in the distance, beside the back of a 3-star hotel. wafting grass, seen in isolation could be the unknown part of an african jungle. sadly, all it is is the foreground of a city scene.
airconditioning exhaust funnels everywhere in sight. the ugliness of a pretty warm light somewhere inside.

the back of a woman in a black dress, lit by the covered bulb of a lamp in there. she looks back at the window loking through outside. but she cant see anybody.

the night is kicking in. the white gave way to the black. het, coke is black. so is my wallet.

a yellow guitar liew above the speaker which is giving out hendrix. cocooned. it must feel sad. nobody played it. a wasted potential. dying away on a wall.

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pictures near by

all the other things that i clicked with my first fone.

thanks to mdeii for putting the stuff up. i am still trying to make my usb work. it will, soon.
everybody needs a toy. rite?
the weekend was good. the week has just started again. it just is one big cycle. just mulling around and round and round.
one day, there will be space to walk.

FARGO

fargo. i saw this word on the back of a truck atleast 30 years old.
interesting isint it. i wanted to take a snap, but i dident have me kamera.
and the best bit is, the back of the truck looked like it could have just come from there.

and hey, i saw this truck here.

songs for the day

katatonia-gone
jimi hendrix-hey joe
alice in chains-get born again

fragile dreams

it is funny this music. i remember that the starting of this song is very similar to the music playing in diablo. the game.

remember. that was one heckuva game.
ofcourse, the feel of the music is very similar. i have been listening to a lot of good music these day. hendrix's blues. and

ocean colour scene(definetly british!)
good stuff.
and about kingslys statement about hypocrisy being the first stage of selfawareness. i dont know. finding out that all you

believed in was rong and then moving on from there has to have some flaw in the process of collecting those beliefs.

hypocrisy is probably the stage that comes in people who havent really explored themselves till now.

i dont know. its easy to write stuff. it dosent take much. and well, not too many people read all this stuff. so what the

heck.

there aint too much time in your life
what you gonna do about it.
live it on, and dream on about it.
choices we made, and choices choose us.
in the end its just us.(we are left with)
reasonable doubt makes you leave it all behind.
society and man makes you pull up your socks and walk blind
there aint nothing that prevents us from being us
but just that there is too much baggage from previous
whatever we see, and do and think, has an effect on everything.
look over your shoulder once
and you always will forever
but the problem is, the damage is done
the cast is set
there is another one left