Saturday, June 28, 2003

hi again

your faithful computer chronologer is bak. with a vengeance. ofcourse, nobody will understand the relevance of that line since it is being said out of context. but, believe u me, it has lot of meaning!

so another day bites the dust, and i go to club9 at 11pm in the nite. i mean, we are all going to go in some time. soon. lets see what that gives. the music there is really good. really.
tommorrow is sunday and hopefully, a chilled out day.
things are getting hectic what. i like life like that. but i dont kow for how long. i had a shower tonite at, what, 1030pm. hell. probably will burn out soon this way.
that, plus what all crap goes on in my mind.
its all been done.

Friday, June 27, 2003

Breathe, breathe in the air.
Don't be afraid to care.
Leave but don't leave me.Look around and choose your own ground.
Long you live and high you fly, and smiles you'll give and tears you'll cry, and all you touch and all you see, is all your life will ever be.
Run, rabbit run.
Dig that hole, forget the sun,
And when at last the work is done
Don't sit down it's time to dig another one.
For long you live and high you fly, but only if you ride the tide, and balanced on the biggest wave
You race towards an early grave.

this song has a lot of meaning. look into it.

simulacra my foot

hey. so i am bak again.
i talked about the concept of simulacra and simulation and the whole what the heck are we doing on this planet and not really enjoying it theme, and in the process, freaked everybody out with the idea.
now that i look at it, shit. what the hell was i thinking about.i was trying to explain a concept that has taken a lot of thinking to analyze and understand to an audience that hadnt been exposed to it 5 mins!!!
well. i deserved the kinda looks that i got (which were, what the heck are you talking about!), and the feedback i got on the presentation. well, the day went well though. it was interesting. and on top of it, it was a little bit of fun too.
i got myself some b&l contact lens. i think i look a little better now. though i really dont know. hell, i can atleast wear goggles now! though i dont see myself doing that though. but still.
the reasons are there, arent they? its how u understand them, and then comprehend and act on them.
so, i said earlier in the day....what is the whole deal? its all one big circle of lots of big lies rite?
sad, isint it, that we take over 5000 years to figure out that all the objective truths got left behind. way, way behind.

things spoken out of context only complicate things. and put people off.
but, then, is there really any true context?


so this whole world is make believe and so there is no objective reality. in a way, that kinda thought only nicely saves the author of that thought from any analysis. since any such thing would only lead to what can be called 'overanalysis', it therefore reinforces that theory, and thus, the overanalysis thus becomes proof of the theory.
silly, aint it?
well, such is the world we live in. where everything is overanalysed to death, and then discarded as just that, overanalysis and thus, concluding that it is redundant.

Saturday, June 21, 2003

going to the movies again

i am going to see the matrix reloaded again. i think its a good film. not as good as the first one, since the cats kinda out the bag, but almost as good. ofcourse, technically, they have done lots more things. the fight scenes are amazingly done and the code is shown with more clarity and more beautifully. i guess they finally figured out how it realyl looks like inside the matrix.
beyond the movie, is i think where i shud be looking. i have become a matrix fan a little too much, and heck, its just a movie right?!
but somehow, i am unable to get a grip on my life propoerly. for one, i think i am not enjoying myself too much at work these last few days. i get bored too easily. and since i think so, i am letting myself actually get bored faster.
beside that. nothing else is happening. i wish sometimes that something would happen, and sometimes that something
would'nt happen. but i really cant control that can i.

so, to my friends who are mixing & matching & plotting destiny - inspite of whatever is mapped, only you will decide the direction that you will take. & it might work, it might not. do not look back to see if decisions are good or bad. they are responses of the moment - the best responses we can think of at that time. later, we might respond differently.

this is from the sixth artist. and i think thats kinda the thought i am thinking.

Friday, June 20, 2003

johnny english

i just saw the movie and it really is funny..ofcourse it is predictable and all that, but it still i quite funny. and natalie imbruglia looks so cool in the movie!
and guess what, she has a tatoo of an om on her butt!
should that be offensive religiously?
or is it right as the om technically does not have any religious connotation. that is, atleast, not to a specific god as such.
thats debatable and arguable. the fact is, it looked good

and she looks good

Tuesday, June 17, 2003


this is a post on the movie. its interpretation is i think best left to the experts. one of the things that i understood from the movie was that simulcra and simulation (the book) has a lot of role to play in the movie. the idealogy of being able to predict thought process and accordingly modify choice sets which are available to allow the participant to reach only one conclusion is just beautiful. i mean, we are not able to predict because of variables whihc are either random or are not defined. like emotion. and random ones are not predictable because their probability is low it is difficult for a computing environment to analyze every probability.

however, imagine a computing environment which is able to counter both points. not only because of the scale of the system, but also because of its ability to intuitivly learn from previous encounters. that system can easily run down each and every probability and also account for emotional responses and accordingly give a tunnel of choices. i think that is what the matrix is all about.
however, think about responses which are not predictable even to yourself. only that emotional responses would not be understood. and those will b the clincer. right?!

Sunday, June 15, 2003

simulacra and simulation

i got the name rong on a post sometime back. i hope nobody minds.

this is what it is about
and suddenly, its inclusion in the matrix makes all the sense. thats all i have to say.

Saturday, June 14, 2003

On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.

a sufficient post

so i finally met anita. anand, she and i had lunch at only parathas. its a pretty good place ....and well, the parathas are excellent.

i asked her how she manages all the blogs that she does, and i think she sed its not so difficult. i on the other hand, am finding it very difficult to update even this modest place. a lot of times ofcourse, i dont have opinions. but whenever, i do, they are either philospophical, or just plain corny. i dont really know if people dig that kinda stuff (?)

a big bunch of us went to this place called club 9 last nite and came bak only at 2am!....however, i saw that a lot of the people over there just werent enjoying the place. i mean, far too many of the guys and the girls werent having fun. they were looking here and there, just making conversation. u know, they have this look in the eyes, that they would rather do something else. but that something i dont think they know what it is.
so they end up at club 9.
i hope i dont end up like that. i really had fun..the music was excellent...all kinds of stuff....floyd, duran duran, hip hop stuff, and then dance...and also some 80's stuff.
neat place. we will go there again the next weekend!
i dont think blogs need to be autobigraphical. in fact, an autobigraphical blog of a person having a stable life would frankly not generate enough traffic. (ofcourse, the assumption here is that the objective of a blog is to generate traffic!) blogs on generaic issues would probably generate more traffic.

i wont be discussing my professional life here. its not needed and it could affect some people later on, if i continue this. and no point getting into it, if i am not continuing it, rite?!
it will be restricted to talk about ideas, conflicts and interests.

and i will question assumptions of mine always

Wednesday, June 11, 2003

day 3

so its was all about the product today. it was interesting. no doubt about it.
however, i am thinking of some other higher things. like, what is the meaning of a line from infininty?

seen from an infinint perspective, any object is just a point. so, nothing really has a third dimension what?!
hmm...not really. it would be impossible to get to an infinite perspevtive. and hey, what about it being there?
that itself is defined by humans, isint it? since we cannot define something ad infinitum, we call that somehting infinite.

the matrix got banned in egypt. what i say is that there are some pretty screwd guys watching it over there to get the whole symbolism and the whole meaning of the movie and what it portrays. damm, this is pretty interesting! i mite be seeing it this weekend. i hope to give some commentary on it after that at some point of time.
i want to read simulcra and simulation primarily because of the matrix connection. in fact, i got to know about it through the matrix only. though i have no idea of what the damm book has!

so, today was the extended party at job. tomorrow, we will be seeing the vision, and the makers of it. at thier place of berth.

Tuesday, June 10, 2003

a whole different place

the whole world i guess is not how i had always thot about it.
it isint, i know. but still.
so. today we had information about the products about the company. it was interesting. it wasnt immersive, but was interesting.
and plus, this is a mind thing. this service sector. the product is made in the mind. which is very exciting.
isint it?
and yet, it is kinda being sold as an fmcg thing. almost. not really, but almost.
the people are all different. there are 2 cute girls. i dont know how they are though. havent really talked to them. dont really want to right now. the guy group is pretty good. the place we are staying in, is pretty cool though. very very slick infact.
thats about it. everybody is studying and i shud do the same.

Monday, June 09, 2003

first day at a company

the important lesson is, its a different world.
nothing else. lets see what happnes later. right now, i am not going to be judgemental.
its difficult to rationalize business in a way. especially competetive business. but i think it will happend somehow.
as one of the mt's sed, tomorrow is a new day.

Sunday, June 08, 2003

early mornin

its 6 am and the light throught the closed windows has a very delicate colour to it. its just a yellow glow coming in. its looking very good.
so i am up and it is a new day. sleep can be a very good thing. i got up on my own, inspite of putting wakemeup on the comp to well, wake me up!
i got up about 10 minutes before the alarm went off. strange, how our internal clocks seem to work all the time. all these days i was getting up at 11 in the morning and now, just boecz i have to go today at 830 am, i get up automatically at 6am!
cool, aint it!
the earlier quote about the box of grenades is either from to kill a mockingbird, or from some other place. i am hoping everything turns out just fine. this optimism in me, is the only thing taking me through all day and night. life could have been a lot better, but right now, it is good enough.
life is like a box of grenades. you never know when one will go off
going to bombay

bombay becons. almost like a beacon. but what is the meaning of this moving on. and how far can i run from everything. sometime i will have to slow down. or i will be only with myself. i had thought about writing about a lot of things today. about decisions, about the future, about time travel. and i cant bring myself to rite about any of them. somehow, this whole blog just cannot reflect the kind of thoughts which go on in the head. and though we can kid ourselves about putting in our head in this place. the fact is, inside our minds there is so much going on, and of such complexity, that sometimes, we can just feel our thoughts. not be able to rite them.

being with myslef however, dosent frighten me. what does, is that someday, its going to be too much.and i wont be able to rationalize or give meaning to my life. i think for now, bombay will suffice. but sometime later. i dont know.
the light in my eyes went a little dim tonite.

Saturday, June 07, 2003

beautiful just beautiful. ummua!


so i dident go to bombay. we were trying to get my ticket confirmed, and well, it did not happen. so i fly on sunday morn. i reach there sometime before or around noon. get to know everyone. and then let the games begin. i am thinking of making this place into a information site for people to know how a management trainee feels the first few months in the company. i dont kow if that will be allowed (1), plus, i dont know if someone wants to know.

so if you(haha) think this can benefit you, please let me know. or, pls let me know. i like the smaller pls instead of the whole damm word.
first entry. call load rec ops.
still in chennai. havent been able to get to bombay. will be there on the sunday.

call load rec ops unload.

corny as hell!

is the ability to resolve conflicting arguments.

we were discussing the concept of fraud and how easy it is in todays world where nobody really checks on signatures and the petrol guy will take your debit card, and charge it and bring it back to you in some time. all that time it is out of your eyes, and well, he could have bought some pepsi with it. hey, its possible rite?!
so why doesnt he do it. its so much moral insanction that he just doesnt want to go into all that trouble.he might lose his job if there is a complaint. he might be arrested. hell, even the shop he buys the pepsi probably wont give him the pepsi cause they will probably know him. there are just too many checks.
guess thats why we are so trusting. because of the society inbetween.
remember this guy?

google services

i have been looking for the google bar for SO MANY DAYS and i finally found it here

that, and a few more nifty google thinggis.
hey, did u know that u go to google even if u clicked here?

Friday, June 06, 2003

zonkboard !

i am thinking of having a zonkboard on this site.
kinda stupid really...nobody really comes here.
but hey. still!
just couldnt believe this

i read this on the marijuana site.

A far superior experiment by the National Center for Toxicological Research (NCTR) involving 64 rhesus monkeys that were exposed to daily or weekly doses of marijuana smoke for a year found no evidence of structural or neurochemical changes in the brains of rhesus monkeys [6, 58]. Studies performed on actual human populations will confirm these results, even for chronic marijuana users (up to 18 joints per day) after many years of use [8, 9, 10, 11, 12]. In fact, following the publication of two 1977 JAMA studies, the American Medical Association (AMA) officially announced its support for the decriminalization of marijuana.

and i had to find out if this was true or was this site just cooking it up.
so i checked. here it is. not exactly what this guy is saying, but the american medical association is asking for it be be no longer taxed.

weird isint it. hey, again, since people who know me personally read this site. i swear on all the music i love. i avent ad any!

smoking up

people say that smoking marijuana is really dangerous. is it more; than smoking a cigarette?
so what will it be, the rette or the weed?
find out yourself here. some myths dispelled.

hey, atleast, dope is more natural.
just for the record, i havent ever had any. it just takes you out of control, and well, i am control myself freak.
but if you must must dope, hey, do it with company which is mature enough to tell you when to stop. and dosent push it down your throat. but, hey, really. just dont dope, what.
free bird
my favourite song

If I leave here tomorrow
Would you still remember me?
For I must be travelling on, now,
'Cause there's too many places I've got to see.
But, if I stayed here with you, girl,
Things just couldn't be the same.
'Cause I'm as free as a bird now,
And this bird you can not change.
Lord knows, I can't change.

Bye, bye, its been a sweet love.
Though this feeling I can't change.
But please don't take it badly,
'Cause Lord knows I'm to blame.
But, if I stayed here with you girl,
Things just couldn't be the same.
Cause I'm as free as a bird now,
And this bird you'll never change.
And this bird you can not change.
Lord knows, I can't change.
Lord help me, I can't change.

not logging in!

msn messenger is not signing in!
i hate slow internet connections.
some people say blogs are boring, mundane accounts of daily life. they are, arent they!?

Thursday, June 05, 2003

been talking to a old friend from loyola. pratyush. hes doing fine. lives near where sean connery has a place.
is planing on doing a phd. doc prat. that would be cool really.
loyola was frankly, the best time of my life. i got out of my home in loyola. and it was great.
a lot of my growing up happened there. lot of innocence. then IMI happened and i saw the ugly part of life.
it keeps going on. i keep growing up. and parts of my life seem almost unbelievably beautiful and just as far away.
and they keep becoming almost like a dream sometimes.
this is what i want

ATI Hercules Radeon 9200 128MB Tv-Out/DVI

hit your boss day.

this one is gory

gig place

this one is so classic. i wish someday i will be making some poster like that out of the blue.

Wednesday, June 04, 2003

here and there i have been

packing up. it takes quite a lot of time. its quite a mystery what bombay will be like. i have never gone there. though i have travelled to almost everywhere else. seen a tiger in the wild. gone white water rafting in the ganga. got bitten by wild bees in the nilgiris (and almost died). lived in delhi, guwahati, coimbatore, madurai, chennai, tuticorin, tirunelveli, trichy. been to countless places in india. but i have never been outside the country. i guess that will be remedied soon. :)

all my life i have been closest to nature i think. more than anything. i feel so comfortable in a quiet forest. and not of laziness. out of the awareness of life inside it. it is really beautiful. i wanted really to go to valparai this summer. but instead, i went to jaipur.

the errors

i found out that if i write after entering once on this place, all the font comes in as one size. earlier it wasnt. that was becoz it would pick up the font size of the date time stamp and only later, after i have entered once, would it pick up the paragraph font. frankly, i dont know why that happens. but this, i guess is like a patch.

i must say, the photographs on the blog look pretty good. i have half a mind to have lots of them on, and half a mind not to. it isint going to load fast enough first of all, and secondly, it just is too much trouble finding photos already on the net, which convey what i want to say.
i am downloading nero right now (for personal evaluation purposes only!) and it will take some time. so maybe i will put up something in that time here.

time travel

time travel isint possible.
if i could travel through time, and would meet myself in my past, wouldnt i have the memory of meeting myself in the past even before i took the decision to go back into time? since i will not have any such memory (especially since if i DO have the memory, i would not have to really do anything, and i would still end up travelling through time?!!!), it is impossible to meet myslef in my past.
then, how can you explain time travel? possibly by saying that if i do meet myself in the past, in that one instant of meeting, my future changes, and i go on another path, another totally different universe. that means, i have actually switched universes while travelling through time, and if i need to get back to my present, i would have to go from this altered universe to my own one.
now, it is statistically impossible to have another universe absoloutely identical to mine. it would equire me to have the same set of infinite number of circumstances throughout my life for it to be possible. that, is just not happening!

infact, for there to exist another universe which is exactly identical to this one, it would have to be either be viewed from a significantly larger plane to dissolve individual differences (like watching sand on a beach; its all the same!) or it would have to have very limited choice sets available. both cases are not possible in a universe where there are infinite possibilities from our perspective.
so, no other universes. no other places, which means, no other pasts or futures; just one. which means, no recollection of meeting myself. thus, no time travel

inherently, this logic has some flaws. will try to look into them tomorrow.

allegorical portrait of dante

this is the cover of the divine comedy. the potrait i think shows the delectable mountain. or someplace else?

1. The branch of theology that is concerned with the end of the world or of humankind.
2. A belief or a doctrine concerning the ultimate or final things, such as death, the destiny of humanity, the Second Coming, or the Last Judgment.

this word is from dante's divine comedy, which i have just started reading. if nothing else, i am realizing that understanding that poem will take me a very long time. there is too much allegory and too much reference to dante's italy and to the history of that period. however, i will make a pretty good try. ofcourse, time is a factor which may not allow me to read and comprehend at the pace at which i want to. lets see.

Tuesday, June 03, 2003

what i listen to sometimes
i am kinda done with the customizing. it is a simple enuf thing. the colours are easy to view. and ofcourse, there is the matrix print on it. there has to be some influence, and that too, on the net. how perfect.
now that i have commenting on, i think i should start talking about controversial topics. something that makes you want to take a sweep at the mouse button and click and rite a vociferous comment.
thats kinda thing gets the net moving.
this is a post in between customizing changes. i am finally getting the hang of this whole thing. its not difficult at all. but choosing the combination of colours is just not so easy.

Sunday, June 01, 2003

latest movie seen: xmen2
think it is: better than ok.

thats about all i have to say tonite your honour. i am sleepy.