Wednesday, August 20, 2003

deep inside you

music again.
this has become my religion in a way. the music of the world. the best talk to me service in the world.
listening to third eye blind which is just very smooth. i think this whole technology thing has really helped this world by making better headphones. the thing with technology is that it makes better listening devices!

Tuesday, August 19, 2003


there is just not enought music isint it is?
i am listening to the show must go on on my headphones and it just feels so good. the beat, which is so deep, the sound of the guitar. the voice. and the whole thing coming together. the tune. the words.

there is frankly, a lot of depth in music which i never knew about.

apart from music. i was seeing this mail about weather futures. i also heard that in india, commodity futures are going to start operating in some time. next month. somebody in the office was saying it will be a lot of money made in that.
i talk to a lot of people in the stock and shares market, and they dont really play a lot on the futures market. see, only if a lot of people play on the f&o market will it be well spread out so that nobody will be able to control the market and bring f&o positions to the stock positions they have taken earlier. unfortunately in india, the f&o market is controlled by some fii's of some indiviuals, who basically make sure the stock value tends to the f&o value over a period of time so their prices get justified and they are able to hedge both places!

okok. so this was a little heavy. this world is quite interesting. isint anything in which you can make money sitting on a computer!?!
hey. so i am planning on scanning my snaps witha little help from anand sometime this weekend. will put them up. i think some of them are pretty good.
so do i have anything else to say?
i do.
i dont believe in god.
i dont believe in destiny.
i dont believe in fate
i dont believe in you.

sometimes, it seems like a waste. sometimes, it seems like a cool thing.
this life.
sometimes, it seems like a drag. and sometimes, it drags you on.
hey, sometimes, you feel like jumping off the wall.
sometimes, you feel like taking off.
there are things that i dont understand.
there is a future i dont see.
i dont think i want to see it.
and maybe the day i see it, i will want to not see it.
tell me, do you really want to know how your life is going to lead and end?
is it too difficult to decide what is just enough for me?
is it too difficult to figure out the balance?

there is just one fundamental thing.
let me not believe the world shud be from my point of view.
but let my point of view be shifting.

i ask the lords of the internet just this!!!!
i have never asked you for anything my lords.
just-e grant me this wish.

Monday, August 18, 2003

green eyes and golden hair

how do they manage to have such beautiful eyes and such golden hair?!

makes u wonder.
is it becoz they have that type of stuff on them and we have been told that it is 'that' which is beautiful, that we think it is.
it is definetly that. i made up a line.
congnizance is the result of initial stimulus.
it is.

Sunday, August 17, 2003

strange woman

mia farrow

in the end it boils down to it. dosent it.
money. the lack of or not of it.
it is strange. the ever twisting up cycle of needs and money. the better cell phone. with more features. the bigger tv. the better sound system. the cool guitar. the new car. the bigger toaster. better perfume for the girl. bigger, better. i am sure it needs to stop in the mind.
impress, compete, indulge, reward yourself. there must be a better way to live than that. this way sucks.
the reason behind the madness in the mind has to be found out. we fill up our lives with work so we dont feel bored and so we dont find out that we arent of much significance in the bigger construct of the world. but its so important, this one small little life that we have for ourselves. just so little time, and so many things that can be done. its important, very much, to give it meaning. to think for ourselves. to do for ourselves. to plan, chart out. move our butts.

hey, i am just doing my job. and if you show me any of that juris'dick'tion crap, you can cram't up your ass.

reality is. its so beautiful this life, that it makes me want a lot more. each moment is fully lived. and thought over, analyzed. for its beauty. not its cruelty, or its ugliness. (thats there). but hey, isint the slow motion cool. laughable. insightful. beautiful. everything matters. not to somebody else. to me. i think that is a very good reaosn to care about my life.

Wednesday, August 13, 2003

they just play

so it seems.
i want to play the guitar too. u know. but it will take some time before i can get one, like maybe a month or something.
than,i have to learn how to play it.
today, i have fever. there, sed in a flourish. whenever i DO have fever, i think abot doing thigns like writing poems or composing music and so on. or writing a book. i even got a cool title in my head which i have forgotten now.
such, as i hve always sed, is life.
other thots in my head are about a lot of things. i want to photograph some really cool things. like, i have the images in my head, but i dont have the people to do them, or the props, or the sets and so on.
sadly, in the present state of my life, i willbe unable to do allthat.
on a happy note, the first few snaps came out well.
people who have lots to say, dont do it with their eyes

Thursday, August 07, 2003

a whole new world

frankly, i dont have much to rite here.
there are lot of things in my mind alrite, but not much i can rite here. for variety of reasons. one of them being that there is just so much of it which is not quantified or is not really going anywhere.
like this whole thought.
hey, whoever is readin this. call on the fone.
then we will talk.
there is a new world somewhere always

this is the thot in my head.
thor and thunder. very very frightening.
what is the mening of a life which is just going on?
maybe i need to find the point when i can move on. or maybe i need to not go from one point or life point to another.

the formula that the formula dosent work mite just be rong, what?
each his owm, whats for me? wat?

Wednesday, August 06, 2003

long ritten thing

this shud have come in a long time ago, then, it shud have come in last nite, but now, it is coming in today.
all becoz the internet connection isint good enuf.
i could rite a lot of things here and it wouldnt have the same meaning for you as it would to me. it would be out of context, u see.
the weekend was good. we all had a good time in the evenings. the day, is, as usual spent trying to understand many things and trying to not involve myself.
i am feeling very disconnected from everybody these days and am planning on a number of things. lets see.

Saturday, August 02, 2003

i got this

i am the proud owner of a canon eos rebel 2000. in some time, i will show u some pictures that i have taken with it too.