money

in the end it boils down to it. dosent it.
money. the lack of or not of it.
it is strange. the ever twisting up cycle of needs and money. the better cell phone. with more features. the bigger tv. the better sound system. the cool guitar. the new car. the bigger toaster. better perfume for the girl. bigger, better. i am sure it needs to stop in the mind.
impress, compete, indulge, reward yourself. there must be a better way to live than that. this way sucks.
the reason behind the madness in the mind has to be found out. we fill up our lives with work so we dont feel bored and so we dont find out that we arent of much significance in the bigger construct of the world. but its so important, this one small little life that we have for ourselves. just so little time, and so many things that can be done. its important, very much, to give it meaning. to think for ourselves. to do for ourselves. to plan, chart out. move our butts.

hey, i am just doing my job. and if you show me any of that juris'dick'tion crap, you can cram't up your ass.

reality is. its so beautiful this life, that it makes me want a lot more. each moment is fully lived. and thought over, analyzed. for its beauty. not its cruelty, or its ugliness. (thats there). but hey, isint the slow motion cool. laughable. insightful. beautiful. everything matters. not to somebody else. to me. i think that is a very good reaosn to care about my life.